Some idioms and codes of sex – By FUNMI AKINGBADE

Penis erection otherwise called ‘Hard on’ is a physiological occurrence in which the penis becomes firmer, engorged and enlarged. Penile erection is the result of an interaction of psychological, neural, vascular and endocrine factors, and is often associated with sexual arousal or sexual attraction, although erections can also be spontaneous as in case of night emission, however the shape, angle and direction of an erection varies considerably when fully erect.

Masturbation is when a person touches his own sex organs to have pleasure. It often results in an orgasm. Masturbating may be done alone, but can also be done with another person, or with the use of vibrators and dildos, but it is often done with just a person’s hand.

Studies have shown that the large number of people who masturbate regularly, heavily and habitually later develop problems with their erection and sexual performance, cases like weak erection, premature ejaculation, weak ejaculation and erectile dysfunction are always an aftermath of habitual heavy masturbation.

Ejaculation is the release of semen from the penis; it is a normal part of the male sexual response cycle. During sexual intercourse, semen collects in the ejaculatory ducts, which are located where the ends of the vas differentia join the seminal vesicles within the prostate gland. When excitation reaches its peak, a spinal reflex causes the rhythmic contractions of the smooth muscles within the urethra, penis and the prostate gland, and propels the semen through the urethra out the tip of the penis in spurts.

Once a man reaches a certain point of sexual arousal, he can no longer prevent ejaculation but has to forcefully let go. This feeling of having reached the brink of control once these contractions start is known as ejaculatory inevitability. The rhythmic contractions of the prostate, perinea muscles and shaft of the penis occur initially at 0.8-second intervals, just as in women, and account for the spurting action of the semen during ejaculation. The intervals between contractions become longer and the intensity of the contractions tapers off after the first three or four contractions.

The semen does not actually appear until a few seconds after the point of ejaculatory inevitability because of the distance the seminal fluid has to travel through the urethra. During ejaculation, the internal sphincter of the urinary bladder is tightly sealed to make sure that the seminal fluid travels forward and to prevent any urine from mixing with the semen.

There are several types of ejaculation in some cases, the fine-tuned process of this sexual response is disrupted such as retrograde ejaculation where the bladder’s sphincter does not close off properly during ejaculation, so semen spurts backward into the bladder. This condition is usually found in some men who have multiple sclerosis, diabetes, or after some types of prostate surgery. It can also occasionally occur in men who do not have any serious problems. It is not physically harmful, but it does render the man infertile and he may have a different sensation during ejaculation. A retrograde ejaculation is also known as a “dry come” because the man may experience orgasm, but no semen is released from the penis.

We also have cases where some men do not have an ejaculation until several seconds after orgasm and in which some men who are incapable of ejaculation are still capable of orgasm.

Some men may experience several ejaculations and go on to have further orgasms, but without ejaculation. Some men describe feeling the orgasm exclusively in the scrotum and the genital area. Other men report their orgasm as a sensation that spreads to some parts of the body. Other men state that their orgasms are felt throughout their bodies.

Although similar in some ways, there are differences between the male and female orgasm.

The female orgasm has the effect of sucking sperm towards the egg (the ovum) in the fallopian tube. Women can often experience an orgasm for a longer period of time than a man. In general, women are more capable of rapidly returning to orgasm following an initial one. It is saddening when women complain that they do not experience orgasm because there are countless types of orgasms a woman can experience such as the clitoral orgasm. This orgasm is the most common and is the result of clitoral stimulation. Intensely pleasurable feelings start within the clitoris and send waves of pleasure throughout the body.

The clitoris is the most sensitive area on the female body, being one of the most nerve rich. If you are a guy, imagine ALL the nerve endings in the penis poured into one small area about the size of a pea.

The clitoris is so important to receiving pleasure that sexual arousal is always felt there on some level. That is why the clitoris is so responsive to certain and every kind of touch. However, it’s not the same for every woman; its sensitivity varies greatly from woman to woman.

Some women may prefer a light touch while others may require much stronger and firmer stimulation. For some women, it’s so sensitive that touching the clitoral glans directly is often uncomfortable and unbearable. After an orgasm, the clitoris may become extremely sensitive to the point of being painful.

As a good husband and lover, you should know that, and give your wife a few minutes of rest and continue again. This kind of female orgasm can be given orally with the tongue, with the use of fingers if a wife loves the use of finger. She must also use a good lubricant, it enhances pleasure and helps achieve orgasm faster.

We also have the Vaginal Orgasm. This kind of female orgasm begins in the vagina and either stays focused in the pelvic and lower stomach areas, or spreads from there to the uterus, pelvic muscles. Those contractions are quite strong and may actually push out anything that was stimulating the vagina.

This kind of orgasm takes longer to achieve (it takes a woman on average 20-25 minutes to achieve this kind of orgasm) husband’s rhythmic thrusting is often the best way to get a wife there, this is where big fat penis takes a better advantage over small, tiny ones.

A big fat penis fills the vagina fully and the deep thrusting it provides goes deeply and satisfactorily explosive. This is what many wives remember months afterwards.

The G-Spot Orgasm begins in the G-Spot (which is located 2-3 inches in the vagina) and may stay there while climaxing or it may powerfully explode through the whole body (I like to call this the leg shaker).

During sexual arousal, the tissue surrounding the urethra becomes engorged with blood and the Para-urethral / Skenes glands produce and fill with prostatic fluid. In fact, this process is very similar to male arousal. As a result, the urethral sponge becomes “erect,” and if you touch it, it feels firm. In other words, this is a kind of female hard-on.

Husband, if you want to give your wife this treat, remember that there are different ways of stimulating the G-Spot.

Rhythmic pushing or circular friction movements are the best for achieving this kind of orgasm [if you do not understand, please call for the pamphlet, it is well explained].

One position that is good for reaching this sexual peak is from the back or fingering. Many wives describe this as a very special, deeply sensual pleasure, which builds until their whole lower stomach and pelvic area explodes. Often, they are carried away for quite some time by the powerful wave of euphoric energy and don’t even realise where they are and what is going on around them (I like to call this one the body shaker).

We also have the squirting orgasm (Female Ejaculation). This kind of female orgasm is so profound and mysterious and not a lot of women achieve this in their lifetime. Female ejaculation is generally achieved by stimulating the G-spot, which is considered an erotic zone located internally, at the front of the vagina. This area is intimately connected with the urethra. Indeed, pressure on the G-spot area will invariably produce a desire to pee.

A woman has to be EXTREMELY comfortable with her husband or with herself in order for this to be achieved. This kind of female orgasm builds a very deep bond between the married lovers. This is the most intimate and delightful thing your woman can share with you.

We also have the A–Spot Orgasm (The Anterior Fornix Orgasm). This kind of female orgasm is achieved by stimulation of an area deep in the vagina (about 4-5inches) on the front wall. It is the same wall where the G-Spot is situated but between the cervix and the bladder.

After an orgasm, the A-Spot does not become too sensitive, and you can easily continue stimulation, bringing your wife to new heights of pleasure. This is why women are able to achieve multiple orgasms. Actually, many women find the feeling incredibly pleasurable, while some may not.

We also have the Deep Spot Orgasm. This kind of female orgasm is achieved by stimulating the area located almost all the way back in the deepest part of the back wall of the vagina, just before the cervix. This kind of female orgasm can be given with a hand, using “Come Hither” motions using both long and short strokes, and you can even use two fingers if you like.

The U-Spot Orgasm comes from the stimulation of a small area of sensitive erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening. It is in the small area between the urethra and the vagina.

If this region is gently caressed with the finger, the tongue, or the tip of the penis, there is a powerful erotic response. Husband should stimulate this area the same way he treats the clitoris.

We also have the breast orgasm which occurs during a peak of stimulation to the breasts. The nipples connect to nerves in the female genitals and many women feel a direct connection with their clitoris when their nipples are stimulated.

Many women feel increased sexual excitement when their nipples are stimulated but not all of them can experience the breast orgasm. This depends very much on how sensitive their nipples are. We also have the kiss orgasm which can be experienced by women who are very sensitive orally.

The mouth plays a big role in the sexual nervous system. The mouth orgasm can take place during any sensual oral activity such as kissing, licking, sucking, or performing oral sex. Many women describe the excitement as beginning in their lips and then spreading from the mouth to the genitals and all over the body.

We also have cases of challenged-arousal-potholes. For most of married lovers, sex doesn’t really resemble the perfectly choreographed scenes they see in the movies and anticipate for. In real life, there are hitches – someone’s elbow catches someone’s weave-on, and the weave-on hurt the scalp of the skull while trying to get out of the tangle, or someone gets a muscle cramp; the list goes on. Or sometimes you hear all sort of noise and lot of sounds and smells that are anything but sexy, all these are called challenge-arousal-potholes.

Sometimes, air escapes and you pass out too smelly gas. Perhaps the most embarrassing moment during sex is when someone passes gas or air from an orifice and it makes some noise. Most married lovers especially new wed are socialised to feel shame over releasing gas because it might cause your spouse some embarrassment. However, during sex, it’s important to be loose, feel uninhibited, and stay relaxed. Instead of being embarrassed, just laugh it off. Give yourself a break and tell yourself you’re human but try to prevent further occurrences.

Leaking. Whether you’re a menopausal woman who leaks a little urine during the bedroom adventure, or a post-prostate cancer male struggling with that first year’s recovery after surgery, or maybe a nursing mother whose milk appears as you get aroused, you may be contributing fluids to the sex mix that you have no control over.

88 … I usually tell married couples not to let the extra fluid stop the beauty of the moment. Urine is sterile and won’t bother anyone but seek for help to prevent further occurrence such as engaging in Kegel exercise. But remember breast milk leaking is proof of arousal.

Sometimes right into heavy wild explosive sexual action, a child can just walk in. Well, no one wants their child to witness the “primal scene,” but if it happens, minimising the drama is the best recourse. Just immediately grab a robe and walk your child back to bed and answer any questions or say simple statements like, “No one was being hurt; Daddy and Mommy were doing a special love wrestling.” Or if the child is older, emphasise the need for privacy and say, “Parents express their love physically and while you may not understand it, we’ll explain more when you’re older, or in the morning…” But the best strategy is prevention: Put a lock on the master bedroom door.

Bad Breath. If you know morning breath kills the mood, you might make a policy of both jumping up for the mouthwash and hopping back in bed. Or if your married partner mentions it, take it in stride, be a good sports man and get to tooth-brushing.

Orgasm problems. Too soon, too late, not at all, or just not your night? If the goal of sex is orgasm, you might miss making love.

If the problem is long-standing, seek out a sex therapist, but if it’s an occasional occurrence, refocus on your married partner’s pleasure. Punch